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Making Healthy Sexual Decisions
As a teenage girl or young woman, you
may be thinking about what it means to be involved in a sexual
relationship. Deciding to have a sexual relationship is a big
deal, since it involves both your body and your emotions. You need
to make sure that it is the right decision for you. There are many
things that you need to think about before you decide to have sex,
including whether this is the right person, the right time in your
life, and how you will feel if the relationship breaks up. If you
do decide to have sex, you definitely need to think first about
how to prevent getting pregnant and how to protect yourself from
getting a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD).
You should talk to your parents,
guardian, a trusted adult, or your health care provider if you are
thinking about having a sexual relationship. It is a good idea to
discuss all of your choices and all of the concerns and worries
you may have so you can make good decisions. This can be a very
confusing time for you and it is always good to have someone to
talk to.
What do I need to know
if I am sexually active or I'm thinking about becoming sexually
active?
Young people have to make lots of
decisions about their sexuality, including whether to abstain from
sexual intercourse or become, or continue being, sexually active.
Other sexuality issues that teens need to make decisions about are
the gender of partners, the type of contraception, and the
intensity of the relationship. You should never let others
pressure you into having sex if you don't want to. The decision as
to when you want to have sex, the first time and
every time after the first time, is only yours! Remember that it's
completely okay to not have sex yet. You are young and there are
risks involved, like
STDs and pregnancy. Many young people just don't want to even
deal with the possibility of getting a STD or getting pregnant, so
they choose to wait.
Before you decide to have a sexual
relationship, talk to your partner about whether this is the right
decision for you. Ask about his or her sexual history, including
if he or she has been exposed to sexually transmitted diseases
(STDs). Discuss whether you or your partner has been or will be
sexually involved with other people. Remember, the risk of getting
a sexually transmitted disease or a virus that can cause cancer or
AIDS is increased if you or your partner are having sexual
intercourse with other people. The more partners, the greater the
risk. The only way to absolutely prevent getting a sexually
transmitted disease is to not have sex. If you do decide to have
sex, the best way to avoid getting any sexually transmitted
diseases is to have sex with only one person that has never been
exposed to a sexually transmitted disease. You should use a latex
condom every time you have sex, from start to finish.
If you are in a heterosexual
relationship (you are dating a male), talk about
birth control (latex condom, birth control pill, injection
hormones) and what you would do if it failed. If you feel that you
cannot talk to your partner about these issues, then you should
rethink if you should be having a sexual relationship with him.
Talk to your health care provider about what methods of birth
control are right for you.
How do I find a health care provider
to discuss birth control and STD protection?
Many teens and young
women can talk to their moms, dads, or guardians about these
issues. Others need confidential services. You can talk to your
own doctor or nurse practitioner about birth control or STD
protection. You also have the options of talking to a
gynecologist, a health care provider at a family planning clinic,
or a health care provider at a student health center or school
clinic. You should feel comfortable with your health care
provider, since it is important to share personal information and
any health problems with her/him. You need to find a health care
provider who will listen to your concerns and answer your
questions. Your health care provider should take the time to
explain things clearly to you.
Make sure you know how to receive
confidential, non-judgmental services when talking about your
sexual choices and health. Practice these questions to
ask:
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What if I
need birth control?
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Can you
tell me what happens to my lab test results? Who do you call?
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What if I
want to be tested for STDs or HIV?
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What if you
find out that I have a STD?
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What if you
find out that I am pregnant?
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Is there
any information that you are obligated to tell my parents?
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What
happens if I have a big problem and need help telling my parents?
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What should
I know about emergency contraception?
If your birth control
method fails, you do have an option called
emergency contraception,
also know
as the "morning-after pill." Emergency contraception can prevent
pregnancy after unprotected sex. Emergency contraception pills are
taken in 2 doses. The first dose should be taken within the first
72 hours after unprotected sex, and the second dose should be
taken 12 hours later. The sooner you start the medicine
after unprotected sex, the more effective the treatment is.
You can get emergency contraception from your health care
provider, Dr. Kiran Mehndiratta's Clinic (Ph:
91-11-26683388/26674281), or other family planning clinics.
What if I'm not sure whether I'm gay,
straight, or bisexual?
Many young people may also be trying
to figure out their sexual orientation. If you
feel like you need to talk to someone or you need more support,
your health care provider can help you find a counselor or support
group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender teens. If you
don't feel comfortable talking to your health care provider, you
can call any of the following to talk to someone and get advice on
where you can find a counselor or support group:
QUIZ: Are you ready for sex?
Ask yourself the following questions
to see if you are ready to have a sexual relationship:
1.
Is your decision
to have sex completely your own (meaning you feel no pressure
from others, including your partner, to have sex)?
2.
Is your decision
to have sex based on the right reasons? (It
shouldn't be based on peer pressure, a desire to
fit in or make your partner happy, or a belief that sex will make
your relationship with your partner better or closer. If you
decide to have sex, it should be
because you feel emotionally and physically ready and your partner
should be someone you love, trust, and respect.)
3.
Do you feel your
partner would respect any decision you made about whether to have
sex or not?
4.
Do you trust and
respect your partner?
5.
Are you able to
comfortably talk to your partner about sex and your partner's
sexual history?
6.
Have you and your
partner talked about what both of you would do if you became
pregnant or got an STD?
7.
Do you know how
to prevent pregnancy and STDs?
8.
Are you and your
partner willing to use contraception to prevent pregnancy and
STDs?
9.
Look inside
yourself. Do you really feel ready and completely comfortable with
yourself and your partner to have sex?
If you answered NO
to any of these questions, you may want to
rethink if you are really ready for sex. If you think you should
have sexual intercourse because others want you to or you feel
like you should since everyone else is doing it, these are not the
right reasons. You should only decide to have sex because you
trust and respect your partner, you know the possible risks, you
know how to protect yourself against the risks, and most
importantly, because you really know that you are
ready!
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